The Stallion's Stable of Thoughts and Experiences

why did you go to work in bisht?

 

Mom has jokingly talked to me about marriage recently... a lot! She is joking but i know she means it.

At the moment, I can say I am not interested in marriage but truthfully if the right person comes along, I would consider it, but not NOW ... not this year, or next year. If I meet the right person now, I want at least 2 years before I do get married.

On the other hand, if I do not get married, I wouldn't care really.

You know.. it's not only my mom that brings up the topic of marriage. My relatives, colleagues, and even clients do! "yalla rampurple badna nefrah minnik!" One person even told me something about eating an apple while it ripe or something of that sort!

I know that the people who care for me have good intentions, they want to see my happiness complete, but on the other hand I also know that the second I get married they will be telling me it's time I have a child lol! It's a neverending vicious cycle!

good post stallion... I was going to post something similar as well.

Rampurple... 26, single, and loving it.

 

You know if you are thinking of marrige, I got this great cousin that wouldbe perfect for you ,).

My saying now when people ask me when I am getting married is "after eid" but never really define which eid.

 

Purg: It was cold outside and so I wore my winter bisht and not only that I got a police escort to work! I think the cop thought I was Suba7i!

Ram: Don't forget that there are relatives who want to see you get married on the day of your marriage before, God forbid, anything bad happens to them! Some also want to see grand kids! Plus I too get colleages at work saying the same thing! Some even tell me to find a girl from within the firm! :oP

Nibaq: I bet that same cousin would work for you too! :oP Inta and your silly saying! :oP

 

hmm, interesting, winter bisht to work

 

Purg: I only wear it in the car! I don't take it all the way up to my cubicle! The bisht stays in the car!

Samboose: I'm not getting too much pressure from my mom but the request was wierd and different! I will remember that fact though!

 

I'm going through the same thing here, but only from Mom. the latest one was this morning, just before departing to work:

Mom (presenting her freshly made breakfast and addressing me indirectly): will you find a woman doing this for you?
iDip: who looks for a wife just like his mom, won't get married. (another way of saying "I love you" with a hidden message)
Mom: you're right, but you must...
Dad: "khalleeh, he'll get married when he's ready for it".

case closed

 

iDip: Allah i3eenah!

 

Yes. I am sooooo in that situation!!

The other day I walked home with a smile and said hello mum! And she is like bashray! you are getting married?

 

Yes, totally going thru it..
i'm graduating in may fa everyone expects me to get married or engaged by the time i graduate..
its not that i don't want to get married its just that i dont want to get married for the sake of getting married.. In kuwait the right last name and the right background = the right person.. which i dont agree with..
I refuse to marry thru family.. because a partner is a life partner, I want to choose mine.. someone who you meet and then thik "how was i living before this guy?"
until then i'm enjoying the status quo..

Question for you: what would the charecteristics be of your ideal partner?

 

Miyafushi: Wow, that's straight forward!

Beyond Q8iya: I totally understand what you are saying and I agree with you! As for your question to me well I can answer you with a short list!

1) Outgoing
2) Intelligent/Smart
3) Honest
4) Trustworthy
5) Fashionable
6) Easygoing
7) Fun/A Partier

I can go on but then that would be getting into specifics.

 

if you had gorgeous i would have suggested we meet.. :P

 

I've been there...and still am. Especially my mom. My I tell her, its not time yet, cause there are alot of things that don't allow it to happen. The right person (I ain't doing the arranged thing!), finances, and the fact if I am emotionally ready. Right now, it does not seem like it's gonna happen any time soon.

But then mom cleverly comes back with "a woman can change that"

Uuugghh!

 

Beyond Q8iya: This is where I become a typical guy for once and say, "Being gorgeous is automatically assumed and required!" :oP

Jazz: Women do have the power to change guys! If a man falls in love with a women he would do anything for her especially change! Trust me I know!

 

oOooO..

I dont wana say shallow cuz you dont
wanna know what my requirements are..

Problem is the list is so easy.. yet NO ONE fits the bill haha ;)

 

Here's an idea: never wear a bisht in front of your mother again. If she doesn't see it, she won't remember the "marriage" thing… "Out of sight, out of mind."

I think for girls, it generally goes like this:

Team Girl (G) vs. Team Family (F)

Ball = Possibility of Marriage.

16 years old: The tip off . The game begins, and F jumps at the chance to mention it. But the Ball is still up in the air, because G is so young.

*note* At any time, G may choose to shoot. She may miss. She may score. She may choose to turn over the Ball to F. F might commit a foul and take the Ball into their own hands.

18 years old: Possession: F . The F controls the Ball because G is not an adult yet. This is a precarious time for G , and she must put on a good defense if she does not want to get married.

21 years old: Possession: G . G is now an Official Adult in Kuwait. However, F is on Half Court Press. There is partial pressure, but there is also realization, sometimes, that G may want to "Go to Skool" or to "Work it".

25 years old: Possession: G . F is now on Full Court Press, Zone Defense. The time is getting "critical" for F. It is the third quarter and the shot clock is ticking.

29 years old: Possession: G . F turns up the pressure with Full Court Press, Man to Man Defense. It is the final 30 seconds of the last quarter. Technical fouls may sometimes be expected.

30 + years old: Game Over. F has forfeited. G is left to shoot at a basket that all of a sudden looks to be a lot higher than she remembered.

Of course, the best case scenario would be if G and F were on the same team.

 

Beyond Q8iya: Why don't you post your list right here? I'm quite intreaged and curious about it now! :oP

Caff: Nice anecdote! :oP Maybe Nibaq should make one up for the guys and use Football! :oP

 

MY LIST as requested by Stallion:

1. Smart, and by this i mean street smarts and general intellect..

2. Reliable-Dependable.. bil Kuwaiti "3enda kilma".. RARE RARE.. I judge a guy's word by the tiniest things.. if he says i will eat gum in a minute but doesn't i stop there.. if you cant keep your word on the simple things then you won't be able to on the big things..

3. Respectful.. someone who can handle me.. respect my thoughts and the thoughts of others..

4. Honest..
5. Attractive.. I prefer the Naydi/Kuwaiti look with the dirty and the tan or semi-tan.. not into the foreign blue eyes kinda thing.. also referred to as "pretty boys"

6. Knows why he wants to be in a relationship..

7. Confident

.. i think that rounds it up..

 

Beyond Q8iya: Pretty simple list that actually sums me up! :oP

 

reeeeaaallyy..? interesting..

btw gotta a confession to make if ur interested..

 

Hmmn I guess it's count down for you then huh?
Just the thought of spending the rest of my life with someone scare the sh*et out of me.
But good luck.. like you said the right person won't make sound so bad.
I am not in that pressure because I don't really see family that much. My Dad is miles away and when Mom starts talking I lock my self in my room. You can imagine there can't be a conversation if only one sided.

 

Hey and Happy belated Birthday!!!

Sorry I just reread the post and was like he said birthday....

 

Beyond Q8iya: What's your confession? You can make it a public one on here or send me an e-mail!

***Diamon***: Welcome back! Thanks for the birthday wishes and as for marriage, take your time and do it when YOU are ready!

 

Nothing should be forced; everything should happen naturally, and if it doesn't, then it's not meant to be, however cliche that sounds. When you've met the right person and when you're ready, you'll just know; you'll feel it in your gut.

 

Erzulie: I understand what you are saying and I totally agree but there is one issue with the last thing you said!

You said, "When you've met the right person and when you're ready, you'll just know; you'll feel it in your gut." I have qualms with this statement cause a person can find the right person and the same person can be ready and has that gut feeling but then the other person ends up not being ready or wants a lover not a spouce! Then everything comes crashing down on the person who had that gut feeling!

 

Pff. Marriage.
I am going to marry the first person I see on November 10th 2011.

 

K: HMMMM! That's too far away plus what if the person you see is your maid, mom, dad, or one of your bros??? Then what?? :oP

 

The rules havent been ironed out, but:

1.It has to be a girl
2.Between the age of 21 - 30
3.Attractive
4.Someone from a similair background.

 

Hmmmm seems like I'll have a cousin who might fit your criteria once that date comes up! :oP

 

K: Laaa inshallah you will find someone!

 

Thanks for the offer!

I also have a cousin who is perfect for you! Marraige Material! :P

 

I agree with erzulie that you really will feel it in your gut. I understand what you're talking about too, Stallion, about having felt something but then the other person "stopped" feeling it. But, that thing you feel when you really finally *know* is actually different. Like erzulie says, if it doesn't work out it wasn't meant to be, as clichéd as it might sound.

As for the pressure aspect, I count myself as lucky that I have never had that pressure from family before. That "race against the clock" theory that is so pervasive in Kuwait doesn't exist within our household, where priority goes to accomplishing your goals in life in order for you to be better able to commit to sharing that life with the person you love, if and when you find him.

What kills me is that in Kuwait, once you've hit 25 the clocks starts to quicken and if you're not married by 30 (esp for women) you're considered a lost cause, an old maid, a spinster, etc. Which is ridiculous because in my opinion no one is really ready to get married until at least their late 20s anyway, because we change so much in our early to mid 20s. Most of the people that I know who were in long term/serious relationships in their early twenties, who thought they were ready to get married, etc, have ended up going their separate ways specifically because their priorities, ideas, beliefs, and expectations moved in two different directions. It makes more sense to wait until you're a bit older and more mature before making as serious a commitment as marriage, and if only the people in Kuwait would start to realize this maybe "divorce by age 25" wouldn't be such a big problem.

But I know you and I know you're gonna meet someone who is gonna knock your socks off, and who is gonna meet all your expectations and well beyond! There are certainly more female Kande Kuwaitis out there! ;)

 

K: And she sure is a great young lady!

Kleio: I know what you are saying and inshallah I will find this Kuwaiti KandE Kid! I would love to find one and I need one actually!

 

Hehehe, you guys are funny ;P

 

Nunu: Who? K and I?

 

Not funny, just undermedicated.

SS, Now that you mentioned it .. I know the perfect gilr for Nibaq!

 

K: Don't even go there! Let it be! :oP

 

Firstly, Happy Belated B-Day Kiddo :)

Secondly, what?? Have you found a secret passage to my head!!! You took the words right out of my mouth... like you; I've been here a year now and of course as a young lady the topic is even further stressed!!!

I'm a big believer in fate... so all good things come to those who wait...

And maybe it's not about finding Ms Right... Maybe, just maybe if you’re happy with Ms Right Now… Maybe one day you might just drop the “Now” and realize she’s your Ms. Right :)

whatever you do don't rush into anyhting and don't give up either...

Funny story for you :

Under the pressure of marriage, my mum literally forbid me from going to chalet one bloody weekend just coz I turned down a prospective bachelor b4 even thinking it over...
I mean come on!!!
What am I 6?? : P
I’m not anti arranged marriages or the fact that I was mega flattered that he wanted to marry me after only seeing me once… but call me a sucker for romance.. I’m still waiting for my knight in shining armor… ok I’m not gonna be too picky... just a damn good fellow who’ll treat me good and sweep me off my feet !!

Yeah, so take it easy Boo you’re not alone :P

 

Diigmaa: Welcome to my blog and I'm glad to see that I'm not alone! I will wait and keep my options open! About the little story, I'm sorry you had to go through that! Thankfully, I will not be able to do that since my parents aren't the type who will force me into such a thing! They might/will hint upon a few potentional young ladies and they might get upset if I decline but they know that if they force someone on me and it doesn't work out then the blame is on them and they don't want that!

 

oooooh nooooooo don't get me wrong.. My folks would never force me into anything... if anything, like your family, they would never want the blame for an unhappy marriage...
But u know mums!!! I guess she really liked the guy and wanted me to meet him... only meet that’s all!! Which proooooved to me that I would not like the guy seeming my mother and I have totally different tastes in everything... (I still love u Mum) but for me it was the wrong time... and wrong state of mind... I too had someone in mind but didn’t work out…
Thanx for the welcome :)

 

Diigmaa: You're welcome for the welcome and don't worry I totally understand what you mean!

BTW we should all LOVE our parents!

 

hjijkfdht

 

Anonymous: What were you trying to say?!?! :oP

 

more importantly.. are you looking for someone? ya3nee are you ready for a relationship?

you mentioned you used to have one.. thats why i ask.. G'Luck

 

Anonymous: I loved being in a relationship and so yes I would like to be in one again! I am ready but to be honest I'm not making a big effort to look! Thanks for the good luck!