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Monday, January 23, 2006
Marriage
I've come to the age where family members are asking me about marriage and when I will be getting married! I have to admit I have thought about it in the past year since I've been back to Kuwait but I keep putting it off due to not finding that "special Someone" or "Ms. Right"!

Yesterday my mom opened the subject of marriage with me when I came home from work cause she saw me in my Dishdasha and bisht (kinda like the one pictured below but it's a winter bisht not a summer bisht)!




My mom asked me if I thought of the subject and if I had someone in mind and I told her that I had someone but it didn't work out! She was amazed to hear me say that but then she goes on talking!

I guess it all started last week on my b-day when my dad gave me a card that said something on the basis that I have one year left! My dad got married at the age of 27 and so did my older brother! So now since I am next in line to get married and going to be 27 next year my dad was making fun of the situation! My mom took it seriously!


Nothing against getting married or anything, I already admitted that I am willing if the right girl comes into my life but the request from my family was wired cause they were using the "old way" of thinking!

Any of you guys/girls out there going through this or have gone through it?
Posted by The Stallion @ 9:01 AM  
46 Comments:
  • At January 23, 2006 10:22 AM, Blogger Purgatory said…

    why did you go to work in bisht?

     
  • At January 23, 2006 10:51 AM, Blogger Rampurple said…

    Mom has jokingly talked to me about marriage recently... a lot! She is joking but i know she means it.

    At the moment, I can say I am not interested in marriage but truthfully if the right person comes along, I would consider it, but not NOW ... not this year, or next year. If I meet the right person now, I want at least 2 years before I do get married.

    On the other hand, if I do not get married, I wouldn't care really.

    You know.. it's not only my mom that brings up the topic of marriage. My relatives, colleagues, and even clients do! "yalla rampurple badna nefrah minnik!" One person even told me something about eating an apple while it ripe or something of that sort!

    I know that the people who care for me have good intentions, they want to see my happiness complete, but on the other hand I also know that the second I get married they will be telling me it's time I have a child lol! It's a neverending vicious cycle!

    good post stallion... I was going to post something similar as well.

    Rampurple... 26, single, and loving it.

     
  • At January 23, 2006 11:00 AM, Blogger nibaq said…

    You know if you are thinking of marrige, I got this great cousin that wouldbe perfect for you ,).

    My saying now when people ask me when I am getting married is "after eid" but never really define which eid.

     
  • At January 23, 2006 11:06 AM, Blogger The Stallion said…

    Purg: It was cold outside and so I wore my winter bisht and not only that I got a police escort to work! I think the cop thought I was Suba7i!

    Ram: Don't forget that there are relatives who want to see you get married on the day of your marriage before, God forbid, anything bad happens to them! Some also want to see grand kids! Plus I too get colleages at work saying the same thing! Some even tell me to find a girl from within the firm! :oP

    Nibaq: I bet that same cousin would work for you too! :oP Inta and your silly saying! :oP

     
  • At January 23, 2006 11:29 AM, Blogger Purgatory said…

    hmm, interesting, winter bisht to work

     
  • At January 23, 2006 11:32 AM, Blogger samboose said…

    WOW!!! I know what that feels like to have the heat....Mom's can get right up there!!!

    Best of luck, Just remember don't do it until you meet that SPECIAL SOMEONE!!!

     
  • At January 23, 2006 11:51 AM, Blogger The Stallion said…

    Purg: I only wear it in the car! I don't take it all the way up to my cubicle! The bisht stays in the car!

    Samboose: I'm not getting too much pressure from my mom but the request was wierd and different! I will remember that fact though!

     
  • At January 23, 2006 12:10 PM, Blogger iDip said…

    I'm going through the same thing here, but only from Mom. the latest one was this morning, just before departing to work:

    Mom (presenting her freshly made breakfast and addressing me indirectly): will you find a woman doing this for you?
    iDip: who looks for a wife just like his mom, won't get married. (another way of saying "I love you" with a hidden message)
    Mom: you're right, but you must...
    Dad: "khalleeh, he'll get married when he's ready for it".

    case closed

     
  • At January 23, 2006 12:53 PM, Blogger The Stallion said…

    iDip: Allah i3eenah!

     
  • At January 23, 2006 1:31 PM, Blogger MiYaFuSHi said…

    Yes. I am sooooo in that situation!!

    The other day I walked home with a smile and said hello mum! And she is like bashray! you are getting married?

     
  • At January 23, 2006 3:02 PM, Blogger Beyond Q8iya said…

    Yes, totally going thru it..
    i'm graduating in may fa everyone expects me to get married or engaged by the time i graduate..
    its not that i don't want to get married its just that i dont want to get married for the sake of getting married.. In kuwait the right last name and the right background = the right person.. which i dont agree with..
    I refuse to marry thru family.. because a partner is a life partner, I want to choose mine.. someone who you meet and then thik "how was i living before this guy?"
    until then i'm enjoying the status quo..

    Question for you: what would the charecteristics be of your ideal partner?

     
  • At January 23, 2006 3:26 PM, Blogger The Stallion said…

    Miyafushi: Wow, that's straight forward!

    Beyond Q8iya: I totally understand what you are saying and I agree with you! As for your question to me well I can answer you with a short list!

    1) Outgoing
    2) Intelligent/Smart
    3) Honest
    4) Trustworthy
    5) Fashionable
    6) Easygoing
    7) Fun/A Partier

    I can go on but then that would be getting into specifics.

     
  • At January 23, 2006 5:26 PM, Blogger Beyond Q8iya said…

    if you had gorgeous i would have suggested we meet.. :P

     
  • At January 23, 2006 5:52 PM, Blogger Jazz Central said…

    I've been there...and still am. Especially my mom. My I tell her, its not time yet, cause there are alot of things that don't allow it to happen. The right person (I ain't doing the arranged thing!), finances, and the fact if I am emotionally ready. Right now, it does not seem like it's gonna happen any time soon.

    But then mom cleverly comes back with "a woman can change that"

    Uuugghh!

     
  • At January 23, 2006 5:59 PM, Blogger The Stallion said…

    Beyond Q8iya: This is where I become a typical guy for once and say, "Being gorgeous is automatically assumed and required!" :oP

    Jazz: Women do have the power to change guys! If a man falls in love with a women he would do anything for her especially change! Trust me I know!

     
  • At January 23, 2006 6:34 PM, Blogger Beyond Q8iya said…

    oOooO..

    I dont wana say shallow cuz you dont
    wanna know what my requirements are..

    Problem is the list is so easy.. yet NO ONE fits the bill haha ;)

     
  • At January 23, 2006 6:37 PM, Blogger Caffeinated said…

    Here's an idea: never wear a bisht in front of your mother again. If she doesn't see it, she won't remember the "marriage" thing… "Out of sight, out of mind."

    I think for girls, it generally goes like this:

    Team Girl (G) vs. Team Family (F)

    Ball = Possibility of Marriage.

    16 years old: The tip off . The game begins, and F jumps at the chance to mention it. But the Ball is still up in the air, because G is so young.

    *note* At any time, G may choose to shoot. She may miss. She may score. She may choose to turn over the Ball to F. F might commit a foul and take the Ball into their own hands.

    18 years old: Possession: F . The F controls the Ball because G is not an adult yet. This is a precarious time for G , and she must put on a good defense if she does not want to get married.

    21 years old: Possession: G . G is now an Official Adult in Kuwait. However, F is on Half Court Press. There is partial pressure, but there is also realization, sometimes, that G may want to "Go to Skool" or to "Work it".

    25 years old: Possession: G . F is now on Full Court Press, Zone Defense. The time is getting "critical" for F. It is the third quarter and the shot clock is ticking.

    29 years old: Possession: G . F turns up the pressure with Full Court Press, Man to Man Defense. It is the final 30 seconds of the last quarter. Technical fouls may sometimes be expected.

    30 + years old: Game Over. F has forfeited. G is left to shoot at a basket that all of a sudden looks to be a lot higher than she remembered.

    Of course, the best case scenario would be if G and F were on the same team.

     
  • At January 23, 2006 6:50 PM, Blogger The Stallion said…

    Beyond Q8iya: Why don't you post your list right here? I'm quite intreaged and curious about it now! :oP

    Caff: Nice anecdote! :oP Maybe Nibaq should make one up for the guys and use Football! :oP

     
  • At January 23, 2006 7:58 PM, Blogger Beyond Q8iya said…

    MY LIST as requested by Stallion:

    1. Smart, and by this i mean street smarts and general intellect..

    2. Reliable-Dependable.. bil Kuwaiti "3enda kilma".. RARE RARE.. I judge a guy's word by the tiniest things.. if he says i will eat gum in a minute but doesn't i stop there.. if you cant keep your word on the simple things then you won't be able to on the big things..

    3. Respectful.. someone who can handle me.. respect my thoughts and the thoughts of others..

    4. Honest..
    5. Attractive.. I prefer the Naydi/Kuwaiti look with the dirty and the tan or semi-tan.. not into the foreign blue eyes kinda thing.. also referred to as "pretty boys"

    6. Knows why he wants to be in a relationship..

    7. Confident

    .. i think that rounds it up..

     
  • At January 23, 2006 10:32 PM, Blogger The Stallion said…

    Beyond Q8iya: Pretty simple list that actually sums me up! :oP

     
  • At January 23, 2006 10:56 PM, Blogger Beyond Q8iya said…

    reeeeaaallyy..? interesting..

    btw gotta a confession to make if ur interested..

     
  • At January 24, 2006 3:22 AM, Blogger ***Diamon*** said…

    Hmmn I guess it's count down for you then huh?
    Just the thought of spending the rest of my life with someone scare the sh*et out of me.
    But good luck.. like you said the right person won't make sound so bad.
    I am not in that pressure because I don't really see family that much. My Dad is miles away and when Mom starts talking I lock my self in my room. You can imagine there can't be a conversation if only one sided.

     
  • At January 24, 2006 3:26 AM, Blogger ***Diamon*** said…

    Hey and Happy belated Birthday!!!

    Sorry I just reread the post and was like he said birthday....

     
  • At January 24, 2006 5:18 AM, Blogger The Stallion said…

    Beyond Q8iya: What's your confession? You can make it a public one on here or send me an e-mail!

    ***Diamon***: Welcome back! Thanks for the birthday wishes and as for marriage, take your time and do it when YOU are ready!

     
  • At January 24, 2006 7:12 AM, Blogger Erzulie said…

    Nothing should be forced; everything should happen naturally, and if it doesn't, then it's not meant to be, however cliche that sounds. When you've met the right person and when you're ready, you'll just know; you'll feel it in your gut.

     
  • At January 24, 2006 8:15 AM, Blogger The Stallion said…

    Erzulie: I understand what you are saying and I totally agree but there is one issue with the last thing you said!

    You said, "When you've met the right person and when you're ready, you'll just know; you'll feel it in your gut." I have qualms with this statement cause a person can find the right person and the same person can be ready and has that gut feeling but then the other person ends up not being ready or wants a lover not a spouce! Then everything comes crashing down on the person who had that gut feeling!

     
  • At January 26, 2006 4:44 PM, Blogger Kthekuwaiti said…

    Pff. Marriage.
    I am going to marry the first person I see on November 10th 2011.

     
  • At January 26, 2006 7:08 PM, Blogger The Stallion said…

    K: HMMMM! That's too far away plus what if the person you see is your maid, mom, dad, or one of your bros??? Then what?? :oP

     
  • At January 26, 2006 7:13 PM, Blogger Kthekuwaiti said…

    The rules havent been ironed out, but:

    1.It has to be a girl
    2.Between the age of 21 - 30
    3.Attractive
    4.Someone from a similair background.

     
  • At January 26, 2006 7:28 PM, Blogger The Stallion said…

    Hmmmm seems like I'll have a cousin who might fit your criteria once that date comes up! :oP

     
  • At January 26, 2006 7:28 PM, Blogger The Stallion said…

    K: Laaa inshallah you will find someone!

     
  • At January 26, 2006 8:16 PM, Blogger Kthekuwaiti said…

    Thanks for the offer!

    I also have a cousin who is perfect for you! Marraige Material! :P

     
  • At January 26, 2006 8:19 PM, Blogger Kleio said…

    I agree with erzulie that you really will feel it in your gut. I understand what you're talking about too, Stallion, about having felt something but then the other person "stopped" feeling it. But, that thing you feel when you really finally *know* is actually different. Like erzulie says, if it doesn't work out it wasn't meant to be, as clichéd as it might sound.

    As for the pressure aspect, I count myself as lucky that I have never had that pressure from family before. That "race against the clock" theory that is so pervasive in Kuwait doesn't exist within our household, where priority goes to accomplishing your goals in life in order for you to be better able to commit to sharing that life with the person you love, if and when you find him.

    What kills me is that in Kuwait, once you've hit 25 the clocks starts to quicken and if you're not married by 30 (esp for women) you're considered a lost cause, an old maid, a spinster, etc. Which is ridiculous because in my opinion no one is really ready to get married until at least their late 20s anyway, because we change so much in our early to mid 20s. Most of the people that I know who were in long term/serious relationships in their early twenties, who thought they were ready to get married, etc, have ended up going their separate ways specifically because their priorities, ideas, beliefs, and expectations moved in two different directions. It makes more sense to wait until you're a bit older and more mature before making as serious a commitment as marriage, and if only the people in Kuwait would start to realize this maybe "divorce by age 25" wouldn't be such a big problem.

    But I know you and I know you're gonna meet someone who is gonna knock your socks off, and who is gonna meet all your expectations and well beyond! There are certainly more female Kande Kuwaitis out there! ;)

     
  • At January 27, 2006 12:38 AM, Blogger The Stallion said…

    K: And she sure is a great young lady!

    Kleio: I know what you are saying and inshallah I will find this Kuwaiti KandE Kid! I would love to find one and I need one actually!

     
  • At January 27, 2006 1:25 AM, Blogger NuNu™ said…

    Hehehe, you guys are funny ;P

     
  • At January 27, 2006 4:46 AM, Blogger The Stallion said…

    Nunu: Who? K and I?

     
  • At January 27, 2006 9:40 AM, Blogger Kthekuwaiti said…

    Not funny, just undermedicated.

    SS, Now that you mentioned it .. I know the perfect gilr for Nibaq!

     
  • At January 27, 2006 10:16 AM, Blogger The Stallion said…

    K: Don't even go there! Let it be! :oP

     
  • At January 28, 2006 12:51 PM, Blogger DiiGMaa said…

    Firstly, Happy Belated B-Day Kiddo :)

    Secondly, what?? Have you found a secret passage to my head!!! You took the words right out of my mouth... like you; I've been here a year now and of course as a young lady the topic is even further stressed!!!

    I'm a big believer in fate... so all good things come to those who wait...

    And maybe it's not about finding Ms Right... Maybe, just maybe if you’re happy with Ms Right Now… Maybe one day you might just drop the “Now” and realize she’s your Ms. Right :)

    whatever you do don't rush into anyhting and don't give up either...

    Funny story for you :

    Under the pressure of marriage, my mum literally forbid me from going to chalet one bloody weekend just coz I turned down a prospective bachelor b4 even thinking it over...
    I mean come on!!!
    What am I 6?? : P
    I’m not anti arranged marriages or the fact that I was mega flattered that he wanted to marry me after only seeing me once… but call me a sucker for romance.. I’m still waiting for my knight in shining armor… ok I’m not gonna be too picky... just a damn good fellow who’ll treat me good and sweep me off my feet !!

    Yeah, so take it easy Boo you’re not alone :P

     
  • At January 28, 2006 1:19 PM, Blogger The Stallion said…

    Diigmaa: Welcome to my blog and I'm glad to see that I'm not alone! I will wait and keep my options open! About the little story, I'm sorry you had to go through that! Thankfully, I will not be able to do that since my parents aren't the type who will force me into such a thing! They might/will hint upon a few potentional young ladies and they might get upset if I decline but they know that if they force someone on me and it doesn't work out then the blame is on them and they don't want that!

     
  • At January 28, 2006 2:09 PM, Blogger DiiGMaa said…

    oooooh nooooooo don't get me wrong.. My folks would never force me into anything... if anything, like your family, they would never want the blame for an unhappy marriage...
    But u know mums!!! I guess she really liked the guy and wanted me to meet him... only meet that’s all!! Which proooooved to me that I would not like the guy seeming my mother and I have totally different tastes in everything... (I still love u Mum) but for me it was the wrong time... and wrong state of mind... I too had someone in mind but didn’t work out…
    Thanx for the welcome :)

     
  • At January 28, 2006 3:51 PM, Blogger The Stallion said…

    Diigmaa: You're welcome for the welcome and don't worry I totally understand what you mean!

    BTW we should all LOVE our parents!

     
  • At January 30, 2006 2:48 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    hjijkfdht

     
  • At January 30, 2006 2:52 PM, Blogger The Stallion said…

    Anonymous: What were you trying to say?!?! :oP

     
  • At January 30, 2006 7:03 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    more importantly.. are you looking for someone? ya3nee are you ready for a relationship?

    you mentioned you used to have one.. thats why i ask.. G'Luck

     
  • At January 30, 2006 7:57 PM, Blogger The Stallion said…

    Anonymous: I loved being in a relationship and so yes I would like to be in one again! I am ready but to be honest I'm not making a big effort to look! Thanks for the good luck!

     
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Name: The Stallion
Location: Kuwait
About Me: A Kuwaiti guy, but definitly not your typical Kuwaiti! I'm very openminded and like to meet new people!
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