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Friday, February 10, 2006
Mixed Emotions on a Great Night


Enjoyment lingers in the heads of those who love people and care for the happiness of others! As much as I stressed out last night I can still say I had fun yet there was this moment where I was feeling mixed emotions at the same time! Started off with a little stress cause nothing was going as planned but that feeling went away once everyone was having a good time and enjoying themselves!

The time I experienced the mixed emotions was when I saw someone who I really love and adore and enjoyed to see that the person was having an amazing time! Even though I was so happy that I could provide that kind of enjoyment, I was feeling depressed at the same time! Weird huh?! As much as I was so happy I was sad and only a rare few, actually just one, noticed my state of mind! As much as it extremely hurts me inside, I still want to say that I'm happy that she found someone to spend her times and enjoy wonderful moments with! Every time I saw her, memories rushed through my mind of the times we had that much fun together and it brought tears to my eyes along with the emotions of loss and sorrow for something so special that slipped through my fingers without a plausible reason! I will not come in the way of what was there between the two of them and I wish her all the best! I still want her to know that I love her and I will be her if she needs me! If she's reading this then I want to say the following, "I love you so much and there is nothing I can do about it! You were and still are the love of my life! I know that it's not healthy to put myself in this state of mind but I can't help the fact that I am a helpless romantic and I fell head over heels for you! I don't think I will ever lose my emotions for you despite everything I have to go through! I hope you're happy cause I know you are living your life the way you want to and that was something I really liked about you! I can't help it but I have to say it, I love you!" *Tears falling while writing this*

Those of you who are reading must think that I'm crazy for putting myself in this situation but you can think anything you want cause even when my best friends talk to me about this subject they can't fully pull me out of the emotional hole I'm in! Thanks for those who try!



Posted by The Stallion @ 10:21 AM  
29 Comments:
  • At February 10, 2006 12:09 PM, Blogger Beyond Q8iya said…

    Parties always bring out mixed emotions.. especially if u are the host.. and nothing ever goes as planned..

    People there might have not noticed because they probably were busy trying to have fun..

    I feel for you.. and friends who talk to u about ur issue just proves that u are surrounded by people who genuinely love you and care about u.. the other kind of love will come one day i hope.. but be hapy that at least u had it once..

    "better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all"

     
  • At February 10, 2006 12:14 PM, Blogger MiYaFuSHi said…

    I wish you the strength to move on. May I ask why it ended in the first place?

     
  • At February 10, 2006 12:26 PM, Blogger The Stallion said…

    Beyond Q8iya: Well usually I'm prepared for the party days in advance but that wasn't the case last night! I'm actually glad people didn't notice me cause I didn't want my emotions hindering their fun but that also shows you how I could hide my emotions for the sake of others! I really cherrish the friendship of the person who tried to help me out and I know that person knows! Thanks for the quote and it is true but boy does love hurt when it only comes from one end!

    Miyafushi: Thanks for the wishes but as for your question, I can't answer it cause I don't know why it ended!!

     
  • At February 10, 2006 12:46 PM, Blogger samboose said…

    Stally, You put so much effort last night and I know you wanted things to be just perfect. I know we had a good time the short time we were there.

    As for the situation. I think she really did a whole song and dance on your heart. I'm not sure how she can have the heart to walk into the house with another guy, no matter what that's just hurtful... I mean technically there hasn't been that long of a period of getting over eachother.

    Just know we're all here for you through your ups and downs.

     
  • At February 10, 2006 12:58 PM, Blogger The Stallion said…

    Samboose: I'm glad you had fun! Wished you could have stayed longer!

    As for the young lady, tara even though I'm not with her ana ma artha 3alayha! She can live life and do whatever she wants to as long as it makes her happy! It might hurt me alot but at least she's having fun and living the way she wants!

    When it comes to what you said,"...there hasn't been that long of a period of getting over eachother." I can go on about this but to be a gentleman I will refrain from it!

     
  • At February 10, 2006 1:02 PM, Blogger Purgatory said…

    Just forget her, you have more to choose from, and you are worth more, so never give yourself to anyone easily, make them suffer first until you determine they are worth your attention and care.

    suffer, then care
    pain, then love

    you remember that and you will live better

    Purg Buddha

     
  • At February 10, 2006 1:07 PM, Blogger The Stallion said…

    Purg: I will never forget her! Despite not being with her, she means soo much to me! My choices in Kuwait might actually be slim in finding someone like her! (Sorry to the ladies who read this but that last statment is true!) I cannot let someone I love suffer! It's too hard for me and if it happens I become appologetic!

    Thanks for the words though!

     
  • At February 10, 2006 1:23 PM, Blogger MissCosmoKuwait said…

    There's nothing sweeter than when a man is not afraid to express his emotions and cry about it...I hope one day..you'll find the perfect match who will deserve you...you're an adorable person and deserve a wonderful person who will appreciate you...and I'm sure one day...it'll happen...For now...know that you are blessed with people who care about you and will be there for you whenever you need them...You Are THE STALLION...be proud..and stand up like one!..:)

     
  • At February 10, 2006 2:09 PM, Anonymous bloggerette said…

    lucky her :) and im sorry for your loss
    life doesnt work like this
    im sure you'll get over it sooner or later

     
  • At February 10, 2006 2:17 PM, Blogger Kthekuwaiti said…

    What doesnt kill you .. makes you stronger.

    Hang in there buddy ... the path to love is littered with pain and misery. While it might seem a bit much at times, you have to keep an open head and live your life. Its the little tribulations that allow us to grow as people and discover who really are. While you might not find another person like her; you will find another person that you will be able to love in their own special way.

    ;)
    -K

     
  • At February 10, 2006 2:41 PM, Blogger Tooomz said…

    Stallion: I'm sorry that you had to hurt like that.

    Like samboose said, we are here for you.

     
  • At February 10, 2006 2:55 PM, Blogger Caffeinated said…

    You are the most gracious host, and an amazing guy.

    You can only move on when you are ready to, and you take the time you need. Like Purg Bhudda said, there is pain, and then there is love ..however down you feel now, there will be an up as equal if not more to this down. When a door closes, a window opens.

    Wishing the best for you.

     
  • At February 10, 2006 4:37 PM, Blogger Purgatory said…

    Fine, do it your way, and we will exchange ideas in 10 years, to see if you have changed your mind.

     
  • At February 10, 2006 8:14 PM, Blogger ***Diamon*** said…

    Sorry that you are going thru this. But maybe it's just your way of healing. Sometimes we do things that hurt us even more but in the end it can't hurt us anymore.Because it's all washed out. I don't know if you understand what I mean. But just do what you got to do, stay alive and everything would be okay.
    Sooner or later but hopefully sooner.

     
  • At February 10, 2006 10:40 PM, Anonymous someone said…

    bee3na bil souk yoba! kil shay illa iz3alek 3ad

     
  • At February 10, 2006 11:13 PM, Blogger The Stallion said…

    Miss Cosmo: Thanks for the compliment and I hope that time comes where I find someone for me! I will stay proud with all my hurt but everything falls and this time I fell into the trenches of love and it might take me alot of time before actually coming out of that deep trench! Thanks though!

    Bloggerette: Welcome to my blog! She sure is lucky but I wish I was the lucky one as well! It will take me a while for me to get over it!

    K The Kuwaiti: The hurt and pain I'm going through will take ages for me to grow stronger cause in order to grow stronger I have to let go and it seems extremely difficult! Thankd for the great words of advice though!

    Tooomz: Thanks!

    Caff: Thanks for the compiments and for the kind words!

    Purg: I9eer 5air inshallah!

    ***Diamon***: I understand what you were saying but she specifically told me she was coming alone and I was quite serprised to see that she came with someone! I was ok with it but then something happened and my mood swung! I will stay alive but as I said before I would have loved to live the rest of my life with her! Sometimes I wake up in the moring and roll over cause I thought that we were together and that we tied the knott!

     
  • At February 10, 2006 11:22 PM, Blogger The Stallion said…

    Someone: Welcome to my blog but you aren't making any sense! Please clearify your comment!

     
  • At February 11, 2006 2:09 AM, Anonymous someone said…

    sorry, thought ure kuwaiti
    it was a compliment anyway so dont worry :)

     
  • At February 11, 2006 5:51 AM, Blogger The Stallion said…

    Someone: Thanks for the clearification! I am Kuwaiti and to be honest I would have preffered that your comment was in Arabic cause it would have made more sense! Again thanks for the compliment!

     
  • At February 11, 2006 10:07 AM, Blogger mosan mosan said…

    Dear Stallion
    The 1st thing that came to my mind while reading your post is a song I love called “Time Heals Everything “ and talking from similar devastating experience it is very true.
    I’m not saying its easy the very exact thing happened to me . With a little mental discipline you will train to look at her differently . If you are doing the scene you will not be able to avoid her.
    1- stick to your close friends and dance the nite away
    2- become buddies with her at the same time keep your distance (I know its not easy again) but this will put into a whole different perspective.

    Finally you will go through the motions for a while, stay strong buddy I know its shit.

    If all else fails you have a technique that I’ve mastered and its always under rated with ppl called Denial.

     
  • At February 11, 2006 10:20 AM, Blogger The Stallion said…

    Mosan Mosan: I am trying to look at her differently but I can't help the fact that she seems like a Princess in my eyes! No matter what I do I still come up with wanting to please her in any way! I guess that's part of my personality cause I enjoy putting smiles on people's faces!

    As for the scene, I cannot avoid her alot cause since we have the same atitude towards having fun we are always at the same palce! I also invite her to my events or the events I know would be considered great! I have considered not to tell her but then my mind says, "No! Tell her! It's not good to hold back someone else's fun and happiness!"

    As for the 2 points you expressed, I do stick to my friends and dance the night away but I can't help wanting to dance with her! She's a great dancer plus she likes dancing with me! Since I was the host I also had to do my rounds and socialize with everyone! As for being buddies with her she considers me a "Good Friend" and I usually don't talk to her now except through MSN during the work day! I've given her soo much space but the need is still there! I fight the urge to call her on a daily basis!

    I'm trying to stay stong and live through it but you are right, it is "shit" and it hurts alot! As for Denial, that's extremely hard to do in my state! "Love conquors all" and it had demolished me!

     
  • At February 11, 2006 10:45 AM, Blogger mosan mosan said…

    buddy its funny mine likes to dance with me too .. we are so much in sink. and she is a grest dancer.
    why is it we hurt and they move on and find other love interest (how dare they) think abt it .. if she can move on so can you. That good friend crap doesn’t work.. remember I said buddies only.
    You will get over it (time heals everything) time is an important factor.
    Buddy you will survive it and no phone calls pls

     
  • At February 11, 2006 11:12 AM, Blogger The Stallion said…

    Mosan Mosan: As I said I haven't called her so that's not an issue! I can go on about this issue but ba7fith karamti O karamatha and just live with the sorrow! Inshallah, time will take away some of the pain I'm going through cause only God knows the pain is killing me!

     
  • At February 11, 2006 11:25 AM, Blogger mosan mosan said…

    soory for being a bit tough.. but I also know.. you opened a can of worms with mw

     
  • At February 11, 2006 12:05 PM, Blogger The Stallion said…

    Mosan Mosan: Sorry to bring up your memories but it just shows that, "Nice Guys Finish Last!"

    I don't care what people say but this statement beats any other with regards to the topic at hand!

     
  • At February 11, 2006 8:29 PM, Blogger iDip said…

    كنت سكنى القلب و لم تزل
    لك منزلة الحب الاوحدٍ

    لم استطع فعلا غير ما بدى
    من شعور بسرور سرمدي

    ذرفت عيني دموعا تحرق
    القلب والنفس ولا تنجدٍ


    من حنين بت له المبعث
    وحبيب بسررورك يسعدٍ

    Author unknow

    لا الله من لامك

     
  • At February 11, 2006 10:12 PM, Blogger The Stallion said…

    iDip: 9a7 ilsanik! Thanks bro!

     
  • At February 12, 2006 8:48 AM, Blogger U.E. said…

    *sigh* :)
    One) I'm sorry I missed the event... if I'm lucky enough to be invited back I won't make that mistake again!
    Two) I know you love her and wish her well and want to be a gentleman... but her behavior? That's just wrong. :( If she doesn't even have enough empathy and sensitivity to know better than to flaunt her 'new life' it's hard to understand what you could possibly see in her. Don't be mad that I sad it... I just hate to see you hurt!

     
  • At February 12, 2006 8:56 AM, Blogger The Stallion said…

    Unknown Entity: Don't worry, if any event comes up you will be invited!

    As for the young lady, she has a right to flaunt her lifestyle! It's just like a lady who just got engaged and shows off her ring or a guy showing off his new car! It's a way of life! To be honest that was one of the things I liked about her was that she didn't care what people thought and that her actions were apparent! I just wished her words were truthful though!

     
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Name: The Stallion
Location: Kuwait
About Me: A Kuwaiti guy, but definitly not your typical Kuwaiti! I'm very openminded and like to meet new people!
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